Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
