Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
