someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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