somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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