someone get that fucking seahorse.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
