This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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