Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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