tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
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