Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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