Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I want to have your abortion
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
