She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
