I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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