Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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