i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize