Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
