If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
