Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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