My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
