um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
