don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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