Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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