hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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