Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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