So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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