my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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