I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
