he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
