WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
