so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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