We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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