The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
