but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
