Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
