3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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