he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
two words...techno handjob
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
