I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
