woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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