it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
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