I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
