There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
