Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Do vagina's smell?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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