By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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