it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I need water and some morals
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
