either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
