pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
