Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
