Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
