I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
