What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
