the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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