I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
