Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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